ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

The funeral was this morning. It was standing room only. So many people there to say goodbye.

Too soon. It was too fucking soon.
You always think you have more time, but you just don't.
I had ten years to tell G what I thought. To tell him I thought he was amazing.
I don't think I ever really did.

Do me a favour. Send an email, a text message, a phone call, or go visit every single friend you have. Tell them how special they are. Tell them what you love about them. Tell them if they need someone, to call you. Never turn someone down if they try to talk to you. Never walk away. Never think they'll be okay, because what if they aren't? What if that's the last time you see them?

I remember the night I met you G. We were about 17 years old. That smile. That smile stays with me. I loved your crooked little smile. I only ever understood half of what you said - my eyes glazed over every time you and the boys started talking pure mathematics and programming.

I wish I remembered the last time I saw you. I wish I had known. I wish I'd taken the time to talk more with you. I wish I had pulled myself out of my own little world and paid more attention.

How often do we really look at our friends? How often do you look them in the eye and say "You, my darling, are a precious gift to this world. If you died I would be heartbroken".

I don't think I loved you enough. I hope that somehow you can see us all down here, tears rolling down our cheeks howling at how unfair it is that such a bright spark should be taken from the world. The world is a darker, poorer place without you in it. I hope you know we all loved you so, so much.