back again.

I've tried to write about 5 posts since Wednesday.
I just can't bring myself to post any of them.
Nic is headed back in for another brain surgery on Monday.
Please send all the healing vibes and love you can to her and her girl.

Anything I would say here pales in comparison to what they are going through right now. This was all supposed to be over already.

surgery day

Just a quick one as I am overloaded with work today.

First off some good news: my little man is all healed and home from hospital!!

and today is Nic's surgery. Please hold her and her partner close in your thoughts and prayers for me today. She is being such a trooper, she just takes everything in her stride. It's her partner that needs our support as she has to sit and wait in the ICU until they can bring her around.

I will be back to blogging soon (I hope) when all my energy isn't being diverted elsewhere - when nic is home where she belongs fit and healthy (and cancer free please).

Prayers required.

Please say a prayer for my friends who have just lost their daughter at around 20 weeks.
Please say a prayer for my friend who lost her mother last week.
Please say a prayer for my friend who lost her mother in law.
Please say a prayer for my friend who just had a stroke.
Please say a prayer for my friend who has just been diagnosed with a brain tumour. She is not even 30 years old.

It's been a fucker of a week.

I'm not sure whether to be mad as hell at the universe or grateful that these things are not happening to me.

I tell you I would take a hundred years of my fertility struggles if it lightened their load at all at this time. Sure as hell puts my own problems into perspective.

The Thirds

It has started.

All the third not-birthdays are rolling around. Which means it is only a matter of months before it is my Starbaby's third not-birthday.

To all the members of my DBMafia - whether you are here reading this or not - your babies live on in my heart. They all made a mark on me in such a profound way and they will always be loved. Those of you missing your little ones all about to "turn" three - I was there with you in the beginning, you saved me, you saved my sanity and my life - to know that I wasn't alone - to know that what I felt was ok - I cannot imagine how I would have passed those first months without you.

To my DBMafia...I remember. I love them too. Happy Third Birthdays, I wish we could see you all blowing out your candles and opening your gifts. I hope you are all partying together somewhere in the stars.