Friday, June 29, 2012

Where I am...

I am feeling pretty happy with my life right at this moment. I am sitting at our dining table surrounded by papers and filing and receipts that should have been dealt with months ago - but the baby is asleep in his sweet little bouncer (purchased with a gift voucher from lovely ladies at my old work), my ten yr old is at his last day of school having a class party with some hastily decorated cupcakes (made this morning - must improve time management) and my sickly 3 year old is in the lounge room watching Charlotte's Web for the third time today. Navratan korma (a veggie curry) is in the slow cooker, coffee is next to me (god bless my mother's espresso machine) and yesterday I got to have a long lunch with my best friend, recently moved back from Melbourne. I live in my ideal area, my kid has nice friends at school, and I am coping better with his Aspergerishness (I know, not a word). Despite living with my mother, my relationship with my Love is still pretty perfect, she is my true other half and my life would be so different without her. Also despite living wth my mother, my mother and I are getting along really well. This is the first time we've spent much time together in over ten years so I think it's been eye opening for her too. Life feels pretty manageable.

***

We are coming up fast on the EOFY. I am a big fan of new beginnings, and as my birthday is mere days after the EOFY it seems a fitting place to have a fresh start. Like a new year. I have a lot planned for this coming year. Things WILL change, because they have to. I feel like I completely missed out on Bumbles newborn babyhood. I mean I was there for every day of it, but mentally, and emotionally, I dont think I was really there.

I have declared a "fresh start" lots of times in the past. And I do believe that each time I have taken steps closer to where I want to be.

Lets hope this time is even more successful!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

back on track?

I can't believe the last time I even logged into this blog was the 29th March. Where did the last three months go?  Last we spoke, I was feeling pretty proud of myself. My life was falling into order.

Right before it fell apart.

Things got pretty messy, and pretty bad, and I went through a lot emotionally (kids are fine, wife is fine - all external issues). Life fell on top of me like ten tonnes of bricks and everything outside of getting through the day just fell to the wayside.

I am now in the process of picking myself up and dusting myself off and pulling it all together again.

Our house is finally on the market. First opens this weekend and auction mid july. This house has been the bane of our existence for too long now. The mortgage payments are too high, and there was too much work to be done. We lived there for two years, in its unrenovated state, cursing the fact that it was just too hard to get things done while we lived there, and while we were both working, and while I was TTC and then pregnant.

It is now pristine. Glorious. The rooms have beautiful new carpets, or new hardwood floors. My laundry is sparkling and clean. My kitchen is open, and beautiful, with stone benchtops and my amazing oven, picked so many months ago, and never used. Once again, we have a perfectly beautiful house, that we never got to enjoy.

This is the last time we live in squalor, move out, and make it a palace for someone else.

We are living with my mum still, which is fine, we all get along great and it has actually been quite a blessing to have an extra adult around with the addition of Bumbles early this year. She has loved it too. But lets be honest - we are a family of five and we need more space.

I want to be able to unpack all my boxes that have been stored and shuffled for years. I want all my kitchen stuff unpacked. I want to be able to bake cupcakes and not have to rummage through crates in the garage to find the right pans. I want to unpack all my clothes (the same outfits have been in high rotation for going on a year now!) I want to decorate my own way in my own style.

The only sticking point, of course, is that the property market went downhill and fast right after we bought our house. It will sell for possibly close to $100k less than it might have a few years ago. Of course this is all speculation, but still. We will have enough to pay out all our debts, and some extra. Hopefully enough for another deposit so we can buy, but we know we may have to look at renting again. Not a prospect I'm entirely happy with, but what can you do?

Well I think I've rambled on long enough for now. Care to see the fruits of our unbelievably long labour?


Nice, isnt it? Pity it never looked like this when we lived there!

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