What do I hope for?

So I was goin to come on and post about the GOOD things in my life right now (for there are many, not the least of which is we sold our second renovation property in just THREE DAYS!!!! Yay!!!) But my life being the rollercoaster it is, will not allow me to come on and have a happy post.

There is something seriously hinky going on with my vision.

I am severely myopic and progressive myopic. My current prescription is around -9.5 with astigmatism in both eyes. So my sight is pretty damn bad. I've been wearing contact lenses for about 13 years.

Just a few weeks ago, my left eye started going blurry every now and then. I thought my lens was moving around, but it just kept happening, which was unusual. One night when it went blurry again, I took out my lenses and put my glasses on. The left eye was still blurry. Perplexed, I took my glasses off. And got the shock of my life when I could SEE THE TV with my left eye, with no glasses. (For those of you lucky people with 20/20 vision, a person with -9.5 is almost blind, I cannot see my own hand in front of me with no glasses.)

Needless to say, I was shocked. I went into my optometrist, but of course my vision was back to normal when he saw me. He'd never heard of anything like it happening before, so he sent me to an eye surgeon/physician. The eye surgeon also said he'd never heard of it happening, but perhaps it was diabetes. He wants me to have blood tests.

I went back to my optician today. My left eye is almost permanently "off". His only other theory is brain tumor pressing on the optic nerve. He did the field vision tests, they were all clear and normal (90% of the time, this will show if there is a brain tumour.)

Now he wants me to go to a neuro-opthamologist, and I assume I will need another CT scan.

This clearly is problematic as if this pregnancy is by some miracle actually viable, I will have to put it at risk by having CT scans. On that note, I had another blood test this morning, and will soon know whether I need to even worry about the effects of CT scans.

I don't know what to hope for - a good result (yay! pregnant) will mean serious concern and putting it at risk by having scans. A bad result (boo, another miscarriage) means I can have as many scans, tests, treatment that I need.

What do I hope for?