Reflections and Good News

Look at me posting twice in one day.

That last entry was hard for me to write and I had to hit publish straight away before I lost my nerve and deleted the whole thing. But the fact is I have memory problems and the more I have written down the better, for me to go back and look at.

After calming down and talking to Mim about everything, I can see things more clearly. My meltdown's over his behaviour come generally because of silly little things - tonight it was because we were told that he was making kids cry at after school care because he was playing handball and basically being a little Franco (dictator) about "his" rules because it was his ball and he was being over the top bossy. And when one of the carers confronted him about it apparently he lost his shit and started yelling at her, which I will. not. tolerate. I raised him better than that, to have more respect than that.

But after some quiet reflection tonight, I know three things.
(1) I have a tendency to over react
(2) I was a bossy ass kid too who had few friends until I grew up a bit in high school
(3) He is not a "bad" kid, and I need to remember it could be worse and this too shall pass.

He actually reminds me of a mixture of me as a child and my childhood best friend. My best friend was universally disliked by all the teachers for being a smartass and disruptive, but he has turned out ok in the most part. I was quiet and teachers loved me but other kids, not so much, because I was so bossy.

I have decided to take a step back and not go mental every time he does something. He is an 8 year old boy after all. I need to just focus on loving him and helping him where I can, and letting go and letting God in other respects. He is on a limited diet to help control his behaviour, and I think its time to take him to the naturopath to see if theres something more we can do.

He is a lovely big brother and generally a good boy and I love him. I just hope he outgrows this stage! I just need to keep repeating my mantra - I love my family, I can do this! Look at them, they are worth it!

On a happy baby note - I have a scan on Thursday to check that everything's where it should be and whatnot. Three more sleeps...I am bloated as all get out and definitely feeling pregnant so fingers crossed it's all good news.

Speaking of good news - I am celebrating twice as hard for my very good friend who has just got her BFP after almost 3 years of trying! Now if my other bestie would get her BFP (due to test next week) it will be like winning a trifecta - I can't imagine anything better than going through it all with two of my most special friends - 3 IVF BFPs can you imagine anything better?