Monday, May 24, 2010

Wits End

I feel like a fraud.

What am I doing having another child when my eldest is in such a state?

Every day seems like a struggle. He is generally a good kid. Well, I think so. But he is constantly in trouble at school. I am at my wits end. Apparently he is disruptive, and answers back, chats non stop and jumps all over people (literally). Nothing I say has any impact. He doesnt do his school work because he is too busy being silly. I have spent the last three years trying to get him to change his behaviour and I dont know what more to do! It seems like it all goes in one ear and out the other. So I try to shock him into changing (you know, telling him they will suspend him from school [which they actually said they will do soon!] or telling him he will go nowhere in life if he continues to misbehave and choose to be silly and naughty) but it has NO IMPACT whatsoever. But do something like tell him to go to bed without watching Masterchef and he bawls his eyes out!

I feel like everything I try to do with him, I'm doing wrong. I have no idea how to handle him and his behaviours, and now I'm thinking "what the hell are we having another baby for?!?"

I need help but I dont even know where to get any.




4 comments:

  1. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. It sound like you are an observant attentive parent because you realize there is a problem. You might first want to contact a child psychologist and give him an opportunity to talk to someone else. ((hugs)) I can imagine how frustrating this situation could be.

    ICLW

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  2. Hugs to you, I'm sorry it's so hard. We had TBB assessed by a child psych earlier this year who specialises in learning and behavioural issues. Happy to give you her details if you're interested. I thought she was good with the assessment but sucked with regard to advice (but then we tend to do things differently anyway).

    Perhaps Rocket is bored in school? Is he able to do the work? Could he be grieving his brother and still adjusting to having his other brother? Food additives affect TBB, that might be something to look into www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info has a lot of info. Testosterone surge? I don't mean to sound like a know it all or anything, just some ideas that may or may not be relevant.

    I'm sorry it's so hard. If it's any consolation today I had to climb onto a trampoline and drag TBB out screaming, then he kicked and screamed and tried to hit me as I carried him out of our friends' house to the car, where I struggled to get him in, then he refused to sit in his seat and just screamed. This was a small group gathering so there was an audience which was lovely. I feel your pain!

    You don't need to justify having another baby to yourself or anyone else.

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  3. I'm so glad to have found you again from your comment.
    For some reason the blogs that are not blogger.com I have a hard time keeping up with.

    First of all congratulations is in order!! And second, I wish had some good advise on how to handle your oldest. It seems to me, that the fact that you try, and worry, and look at the problem from different angles is a good thing.

    Good luck!!

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  4. First, I've read through the past few entries (still catching up LOL) and I just want to squeal in excitement for you! I am so unbelievably excited for you and wish I could come there and rub your belleh! *grins*

    As for Rocket, I feel your pain. I sometimes wonder why I would even consider another child with all of the issues we have with Hollie, since she needs more attention and love from me, and who am I to want to consider another

    *hugs tight and sending so much love*

    ReplyDelete

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