Grave Imagery

I went out to the cemetary today.

We are creeping ever closer to my little guy's second anniversary of his birth and death, and it's affecting me a lot more than his first. It could be because I was still pregnant with the Monster Baby on his first birthday/deathday so I didn't allow myself to think about it too much.

This year I was planning big things. But a few hurdles along the way and I threw in my plans. Too stressful. I want to just focus on him this year. Privately grieve on my own and get through it. Maybe next year we can do something big in his honour.

But anyway...the cemetary.
We are finally arranging his plaque/gravestone for his second birthday. It has been so hard because what do you say? What do you write on the stone? How do you sum up the hopes and dreams of a full life? How do you put into words the utter desolation of losing a baby before you know them?

We still dont have the words yet but it needs to be done. His temporary marker has finally been removed so he has nothing there now. I went into the office to pick out the image for the stone. Looking through the book for something appropriate.

We aren't Christian so 99% of the religious symbology isn't appropriate.

We never knew him so we don't know if he liked trains, or boats, or dogs, or cats.

We don't know if he would have liked fishing or surfing like his dad.

We don't know if he would have been sporty (like his mum) or academic (like his mama).

It didn't leave much.

But as in all things, humour. Would you believe that one of the options is a marijuana leaf? No seriously! Who looks through that book and says "Well he did like the weed, let's put that on his gravestone" Or perhaps "well he was high when he crashed into that tree...seems appropriate". I mean really...It did give me a much needed giggle though...